The Divine Me -- Sometimes is Hard to See
What is put together in the symphony of my soul, what is all that makes up me?
Is it only what is tangible, what is there for me to see -- or is it yonder, slipping past the music of worldly reality?
When I look from heights above, warmed and glowing, feeling heaven’s cover so very thin,
I lavish myself with thoughts of, could it be, that there is divinity within.
Until my mortal self doth fall, once again, to feel awash in sin.
Wherein is this divinity that hides so well, oft times within the blackest night,
I struggle to grasp hold of all that is spoken of this person who is me -- looking for the light.
They say that a spark or seed of heavenly is there -- has always been.
Though I think my faith doeth waver when with earthly eyes I cannot comprehend.
I see all that is broken – what longs to heal.
In all the mix of me, what good thing here doeth heaven reveal.
I see the guarded wounds, the chafing sores.
Tell me please, dear Heavenly Father, what part of me is yours?
Thoughts plague me of worthlessness and nothingness abound,
while I hear God’s truths that are taught and gently, my heart surround
A whisper, a soft feeling breaching, reaching deep to stir within --
a lifting, piercing certainty that awakens one to where we can begin.
It was God’s hand that created man.
Divinity is woven into all -- into all that I am.
-- Janice Osei-Boamah --
I often wonder about my divinity. And a lot of my writings reflect the inner conflict I face with believing in my worth. Sometimes with every little wind that blows or storm that brews, I have trouble seeing my worth.
Getting past those feelings of worthlessness can be difficult.
I wrote a prose titled, "Do I Have Worth," a question I ask myself frequently -- "do I matter?" "Does my life make a difference to anyone?" "When I speak, does anybody hear or listen?"
It is rough because life is full of bruising experiences that leave us a tad battered, and sometimes I believe I project those hardships into calculating my worth.
Oh, the foibles of the flesh that intermix with life's difficulties compounding the laboriousness of the tasks at hand.
My Revelation -- That I Must Search in the Light to Find Myself
I find that light is revelatory for my questions about who I am, God’s desires for me, and if I do indeed have worth.
Abundant light brings an abundance of inner visual acuity and awareness of myself and my interactions with God and the world and their effects upon my soul.
I Wouldn't Search For Something in the Dark, Would I?
Neither can I seek answers about myself scrounging around in the dark. I have to actively seek that knowledge by adding ever-increasing light into my life.
From a Small Segment in the Scriptures Talking About Christ’s Growing up Years,
I learned that Christ was very clear about who he was and what he was to be about doing. He knew that he was the Light and Life of the world. For that reason, Jesus Christ could confidently, and with sure knowledge, explain to his parents why he was where he was, instead of where they wanted him to be.
Luke 2:49 And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?
I would like that kind of clarity; I really would.
I don’t want to get discouraged, but at times I find I do. At times I’m not the best at liking myself or knowing why God keeps blessing me and loving me. I would like to know everything about myself and God all at once -- sometimes perfection sounds nice.
But I’m learning that the dawn comes on gradually -- it seeps over the horizon, spilling here and there, and takes its time coming to the brightness of noonday for a reason.
Patricia Holland, in a Devotional, Quoted a Teacher and Then Went on to Say a Few Additional Words:
Brother Dennis Rasmussen of our philosophy department has written:
To be a child of God is to share his divine nature. But that nature is still potential in man, and the purpose of life (and I might add learning) is to make it actual . . . Man has invented many names for himself; most of them are wrong. But man wears them like labels and often comes to believe them. Who has not worn with shame and mute belief the name of Stupid or Awkward or Nobody or even Wicked? But God calls to man with a new name that only God can speak. He addresses his children born in his image and asks, “Can you look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenances?” (Alma 5:19.)[Dennis Rasmussen, The Lord’s Question: Thoughts on the Life of Response (Provo, Utah: Keter Foundation, 1985), pp. 7–8; emphasis added]
"We owe it to that divine potential in us to look up to God without fear. Some of you wonder whether God even knows you exist, or if he does know, does he care that you exist? He declares in reply that he knows every one of you and loves you dearly and can call each of you by name. He has promised that the very hairs of your head are all numbered to him. “The very hairs of your head”—that proclaims a lot of fatherly interest. He has also declared that not even one sparrow will fall to the ground unnoticed. “Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than . . . sparrows” (Matthew 10:30–31).
God Does Not Tire of Teaching Me Who I Am
I’m his child. He is my Father in Heaven. He will find me when lost -- offering light -- pouring out his love for me such that I can feel and know --
I do have divinity within.